Does anyone else need to give themselves a pep talk before going out socially these days? Do people even want to do things anymore? I blame the quarantine scarring we all have from the pandemic – equal parts anxiety and introversion – but it probably has a little to do with aging as well. I don’t think I’m alone. Some people hardly even want to be asked to do social things anymore.
The holidays demand I step up my game though. Our big, fun family won’t stand for introversion. We had Christmas Eve at my brother’s, and Christmas at Kristen’s sister’s. Then the New Jersey cousins came to town and our house teemed over for five days or so. We hosted a gift exchange, took the kids shopping in Little Five Points, and ice skating in Atlantic Station. There were delicious meals, lots of laughs, and endless amounts of cookies and wine. Much quality family time was spent and I was a man in full, bloated even.
We were both tired but Kristen must be a little less scarred and aged than me because she wanted to see friends, too. She suggested we plan “something” for New Year’s. But getting dolled up and staying out past midnight sounded like torture. So how could we celebrate New Year’s Eve without dressing up or going out or staying up late? I’m certainly not one of those people who hosts brunch on New Year’s Day. Are they showing off or something? Maybe serving quiche at 10 a.m. on Jan. 1 is some sort of power move. But of all the things I don’t want to do, that is the one I don’t want to do the most.
Then I think to myself, well, you’re a wet blanket, aren’t you? Remember when you were a kid and your family threw these epic, open-house holiday parties? Whole families rolled up in their station wagons and had a blast. The place was packed with old friends, new friends, and if we were lucky, a couple beer-drinking nuns. Nowadays whenever we do find the strength to pull off a party of this sort, my kids enjoy it. The iPhones give way to actual, interpersonal interactions. If we teach them anything, it ought to be that connecting with friends is important, right?
And now you know the mental gymnastics I go through from the time Kristen says “I want to have a party” until the time I’m scrubbing the porch furniture.
Yet however touching that little change of heart paragraph was, I still wasn’t jazzed about hosting a fancy pants New Year’s Eve party. But if we wanted to do a little something, like jeans and sweater – something, on my couch in time to watch Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen embarrass themselves–something, what could that be? People – it’s all about the New Year’s Eve Early Bird Special.
The swiftness with which the positive Evite responses came back pretty much confirmed it was a brilliant plan. Come over in the afternoon. Bring a dish to share and just hang out. If you have a glitzy soiree to attend later that night, we are not competing with that notion. You can do either or both and we’re not stressing about it either way. If you want to say you did something for NYE but be in your pajamas by 8 p.m., well, you’ve found your party and your people.
At 55 degrees and sunny, it was a smashing success. We had some couples, some singles, and some whole families over like an old-school throw-down. Adults gabbed away in the kitchen and huddled around a fire outside while kids scattered to the far reaches of the house and yard. There was food and drink and laughs and I was a man in full(er) for it. Most importantly, I was in my pajamas well before midnight. Maybe socializing isn’t so terrible, given a particular construct.
